Revelation 3:17-19

"Because you say, 'I am rich, have become wealthy, and have need of nothing' - and do not know that you are wretched, miserable, poor, blind, and naked - I counsel you to buy from Me gold refined in the fire, that you may be rich; and white garments, that you may be clothed, that the shame of your nakedness may not be revealed; anoint your eyes with eye salve, that you may see. As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten."

These words from my Lord came crashing down upon me this morning like a ton of bricks (to quote an often overused phrase). To be theologically correct (which sort of makes me sick just writing this - I get so tired of these qualifications), I know and can appreciate who He was/is speaking to here, but simply must expand the territory to include me, one who is completely secure in Jesus. The fact of the matter is that I'm rich with wealth, I'm clothed with coverings that translucently attempt to hide my sin, and I'm visually "gifted" with eyes that freely wander here and there to places they ought not. Living in this country has afforded me luxury I now wish I never tasted; it's a very dangerous, treacherous place to be.

My whole life I've felt distracted, encumbered and weighed down by the perishable. It's been a yoke around my neck even when I haven't possessed much at all, especially in my earlier years of life. I've always wanted, and wanted more. I've always desired the best, the best of everything. And you know what? It's been given to me, all of it. It came to me like the male Black Widow naively steering toward the beauty of what his eyes and heart wanted, only to be swallowed by her bite. I now feel like Solomon; what has it produced? It's all chasing after the wind. If there's one thing I'm grateful for, it's that I can at least see this for what it's worth. Many go through their entire lives never gaining true sight, 20/20 vision.

But now I see, so what shall I do? John quotes the Lord and says that I should buy gold refined in fire, that I should buy white garments that the shame of my nakedness might not be revealed, and that I should anoint my eyes with eye salve that I might see. And where do these come from and what do they look like? They come from love by a source much greater than me, and they produce a love of sources much beyond me. It's not what I see, it's not what I wear, it's not what I own, but rather what I don't see (for, "We walk by faith, not by sight."- II Corinthians 5:7), what I don't wear (shameful coverings, but rather sheer, white veneers that expose a new heart), and what I don't own (anything, for it all comes from Him, and everything, for what I have is imperishable). I bask in those today, asking the Lord to satisfy my longings to own, be clothed and see with those that only He can satisfy.