Galatians 2:21b

"... if righteousness comes through the law, then Christ died in vain."

I'm well taught in and around my Christian circles. In my nacent stages of rebirth, I naively thought that I could somehow merit my favor with God. I don't ever remember being overtly told that, but I somehow embraced that kind of thinking whether I consciously knew it or not. I know that because I clearly remember believing that my good works, my good disciplines and my gracious thoughts toward others (as infrequent as they were and ashamedly still are) put me in right standing with God. I believe I'm naturally inclined to think this way anyway, but I was never told not to think this way, not until I was formerly introduced to the doctrine of justification by faith (trust) alone, in Christ alone, by the grace of God alone.

Now I consciously know these truths and am immersed in them frequently. They're part of my fabric and serve as a lens by which I view the world. And yet I still have to fight against the urge to work to gain approval from God. I don't think I'm unusual in this way. This is perhaps something that is common to all of mankind. (cf. I Corinthians 10:13) Even the apostles had to wrestle with it, and that's why all religions are built on this principle - absent divine intervention from the one true God all people will gravitate toward self-justification. This is the constitution of the devil and the greatest force of evil invisibly soaked in the air we breath.

Jesus' death put all of that to death. Meaning I cannot, nor could I ever accomplish anything that would justify myself with Him (cf. Romans 3:10-18), and His satisfaction (propitiation) of all my vain attempts to do so served to clothe me in righteousness that now gives me free and welcomed access to God. (cf. Romans 5:2) So there was nothing vain about His death at all, but what is vain are my attempts to die as a means to substitute for His death.

I'm beginning to see all too clearly lately that while I truly believe in the efficacious atonement of my sins on the cross, I'm still working too hard to undo that. This truth about Jesus' complete and absolute atonement for my sins needs to not only be known, but existentially woven into the sinew of my being. And that's why the prior verse of this chapter in Galatians is paramount to my soul, "I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave Himself for me."