Mark 4:40

"Why are you so fearful? How is it that you have no faith?"

'My God, I am fearful about many things, so many things. Rarely am I violently tossed about in a boat by a raging storm, hanging onto the railing with all my might for fear I might be thrown into the sea and swallowed by the waves. I think that has perhaps happened once in my lifetime. The disciples knew this kind of fear and awoke the Savior from a peaceful sleep in the midst of it because of His apparent lack of concern for their imminent doom. They were literally about to die. Under similar circumstance I would have most definitely been fearful too. But Jesus not only rebuked the wind and the sea, which is astonishing in and of itself ("Who can this be, that even the wind and the sea obey Him!" - Mark 4:41b), but He also rebuked the disciples for fearing as they did. He was more concerned about their faith than their physical well being because He addressed that before He spoke to the wind and sea. He could have dealt with these matters in reverse order. Seems harsh, but then again most things that the Savior spoke and did were.

My greatest fears seem far less significant than drowning in the ocean, Lord. I fear men. What do they think of me? Will I say something that makes less of me? How do I look today? How will I perform today? Me, me, me... I, I, I. The list is endless, and it's also pathetic and sinful because it always centers around "you know who". Embarrassing quite frankly. I don't want these kinds of fears. But why do they exist? Because... I lack faith. Faith in what? Faith (or trust) in the hope I have to exult in Your glory and Your glory alone. I no longer belong to myself, but I've been purchased by Christ with His blood. Now I'm a bondservant to Him, and a servant wants nothing more than to make their Master look good and to point eyes, ears and faces toward Him. My fears are born out of faith in me; it's misdirected and has no foundation whatsoever. It's sinking sand.

Exercise my faith today Lord so that it's redirected to the rock of my salvation, Jesus. I want to make much of Him and make less of me.'