"... by the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace toward me was not in vain;"
God's grace is poured out to His servants by whatever means and measures He determines. It's His choosing, not mine. And since all that He does is absolutely perfect, who am I to challenge, question or begrudge His grace? Yet I often do, desiring either different results or different methods of distribution.
Reflecting upon my current station of life causes some pause for me, but not for long. The momentary hesitation is tainted by my questions about "what might have been if I only...", and yet on the other hand preempted by the personal preaching of "but God ordains that which He wills". It's a tight tension that can only be addressed by faith and repentance; faith that God's perfect purposes can never be thwarted, and repentance of sin that interfered with doing what was right. Both are real, and both are mutually inclusive.
The past is the past. The devil will tempt me to peer over my shoulder with regret. But I cannot look back after the plow has tilled the soil because it steers me off course when I remove my eye from the fixed point ahead of me. (cf. Luke 9:62) 'Yes indeed Lord, by Your grace I am what I am, and what a beautiful thing that is today. What You're doing cannot possibly be in vain because You are God. What a good place to be this morning. Thank You, my Lord.'
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